


No more pain

by NekoSama09



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Bad Parenting, M/M, Sad Ending, Suicide, Takao is hurting, hurting Midorima, suicide letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-06 10:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17938151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoSama09/pseuds/NekoSama09
Summary: Takao has enough of this world, all he wanted is to be free. So that’s what he going to do.Midorima didn't know how to live without Takao.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t read if you hate sad endings, this fic isn’t happy and takao isn’t happy.

Takao sat cross legged on his bed, he felt shattered, all life drained from his body. He thought he could finally be happy, could finally put all those negative emotions in the past but it wasn’t meant to be. He haven’t felt so alone until now, no one was near to witness his loud cries, no one was near to witness as he takes a blade hidden under his bed. The blade rusted with age; he haven’t draw deep cuts into himself in two years.

Two years.

That how long he been happy. He nearly cried when he became a starter on his team, he definitely cried when midorima asked him out, and sobbed like a baby when everyone believed he would make a wonderful captain.

Two years has pass, now, he was close to graduating: he was happy.

Takao squeezes the blade, blood drips from the wound, he couldn’t understand what went wrong. He was a good son, a good brother, a good friend, a good captain, and a good boyfriend... so what went wrong?

What made midorima break up with him, he asked but the other ignore him and apologized. It was such a shock that he skip two weeks of practice and when he finally felt strong enough to go back, they strip him of his captain duties because of it. And no one helped him, no one stood by his side; not even midorima.

That day lead to this one, where takao lay on his bed, feeling alone and hurt.

Takao finally released the blade, letting it fall onto the carpeted floor, he ignore his bloody hand as he reached for his notebook and flipped through it until he found a blank page. And then... he started writing.

~~~~~~~  
Why does lovers do hurtful things?

Why do family ignore their love ones pain?

Why do parents disappoint their children?

I’ve been wondering this for a while 

The pain I’m going through 

It might not be a lot

But it’s still pain

And, every time I wake up, I think... everything will be fine 

Everyday, I wonder... am I going to make it?

Every violent action I witness cause me to stink into depression 

Every lonely day cause me to die inside

But I’m still alive

I honestly thought it would get better

I thought, if I have my family then everything will be fine

But it’s not

They never understood and never tried 

They thought I was crazy

I thought my parents would understand 

But in the end 

They betrayed me

They took everything I had

And I started to pretend I was alright 

And now I’m 18

Still hurting

I found a lover

I thought I could finally be free

I was always smiling when he was around

But like everything else 

I lost him

I had lost everything!

I tried to speak out

But no one cared

No one wanted a sorry excuse of a sad story 

No one wanted to hear the story of a boy who has nothing

Apparently That’s not pain

Well, I’m sorry

I’m sorry that I’m hurting because of my mom who left me, I’m sorry that my dad stolen from me, I’m sorry that my family don’t care for me, I’m sorry that my lover hates me, I’m sorry that feel broken.

I’m sorry I was Born

I’m so sorry

That’s why, today, I’ll stop hurting 

Today, I can finally be happy

No more hurting 

No more shedding tears

NO MORE!

I’m finally free

Bye


	2. I'm sorry

Midorima stood in the rain, not caring to carry an umbrella. Right now, the world around him felt so dark and cold.

Today was Takao's funeral and Midorima have to admit, he was disgusted by the lack of people here. He spotted Takao's little sister, the girl kept sobbing alone in the corner. He spotted some of his old teammates, all gathered in one spot. Some others that he doesn’t know. His own friends who came to give him support and pay their own respects.

Guilt has been beating at him, he knew it wasn’t just him who drove Takao to suicide but Midorima felt that he let Takao drown, he didn’t grab Takao hand when he needed him. And he knew it was petty to blame his parents for their breakup but he couldn’t help it.

His parents weren’t nice people, they would always get what they want. So when Midorima refuse to accept an arranged marriage, his parents were angry and demand him to break up with Takao.

His parents were crazy, so he should have known that they would try to hurt Takao. It kind of scared Midorima that his parents could make those accidents actually look like an accident.

By the time Midorima realized Takao was broken, he was too late to save him.

And now, here he is… mourning over his mistake.

“Shintarou?” the other did not turn, he didn’t need too, “ yes, Akashi?” The redhead says nothing for a short while, “I understand what you are going through. My father dislikes my lover as well.”

Midorima couldn’t help but chuckle, even if their situation Was similar, at least, Akashi fought for his love.

“ Don’t do anything stupid,” Akashi then patted his shoulder before rejoining the others. Midorima couldn’t help thinking that Akashi could see through his plans. Not like he could do anything about it.

He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, to scream until he couldn’t feel the pain. Midorima thought Takao was strong, beautiful, bright, the most wonderful human in this world and now… he was gone.

Takao was gone and he was still here, this must be their cruel fate, lovers who wanted each other but were forced to be apart.

But Midorima won’t let fate win, he will stay by Takao's side. He needs him.

Midorima waited until he was the only one in front of Takao's grave, waited until no preying eyes were on him, waited until he can take the gun from his pocket, waited until he held the gun to his head, waited until he was smiling, waited until the sun shines brightly.  
And pulled the trigger.

In the end, it took 3 hours until someone fine Midorima body. His parents did not shed tears.

It took 5 days until Akashi found a hidden letter, it took him two hours until he was strong enough to read it, Akashi was known to be strong but cried anyway. His lover held his hand as he read out loud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I was caged, held from the chains.

I was a slave, doing the bidding of those who controlled me.

I thought I was going to stay unhappy, to stay broken, and abused.

I wonder how I met my friends… how did I started to smile around them?

Sometimes, I wonder if this was it like to be happy, to be with people who would never hurt me.

But even that wasn’t meant to be.

I felt abandoned, I wanted everyone to stay with me but I felt that was too selfish of me.

It was until I meet him.

The brightest person I ever saw, the person who saved me from the pain.

Those 2 years were the happiest I been, and it was all thanks to him.

I didn’t felt caged, didn’t felt like a slave with no meaning, I felt that I was truly becoming a person.

Until I lost him too.

I never thought I was still being controlled, I never thought it would have been my fault that he lost his bright light.

I don’t deserve to live, I don’t even want too.

He’s isn’t here anymore, I need him but he’s isn’t here.

I need my light, my greatest strength, my heart… he was my heart.

And if he isn’t here, then I won’t be either.

I can’t go on living, so this is goodbye.


End file.
